Carnation Milk

Carnation Milk is the best in the land;
Here I sit with a can in my hand—
No tits to pull, no hay to pitch,
You just punch a hole in the son of a bitch.

— Anonymous

13 Comments on “Carnation Milk”

  1. mechmike

    I always heard the second and third lines as:

    Sits on the shelf in a red-and-white can…
    No shit to shovel, no teats to pinch…

    Reply
  2. dean

    This is the original poem circa early 1900’s. The one posted on other sites is a copy, fake or plagerized..it is your choice. Interesting that this poem was around for 30+ yrs when the plagerized one won a contest.

    Reply
  3. jerry

    I am 71 and the verson I heard goes, Carnation milk is the best of all, it comes in a can large or small, no tits to pull no hay to pitch just jab a hole in sonofbitch !

    Reply
  4. Blaike carnation'S

    Your bechemel your teling evey one abouy is a bechemel not eh carnation cream its already been envented so come up with a new usless idea you low life million air americans f-you lmaoo

    Reply
  5. Blaike carnation'S

    Lmaoooo f – you carnation of other products made in a can make something reall organic or freshly grown ..advertising isn’t. Yiur forteh ethier

    Reply
  6. Terry

    The version I know is:

    I like Carnation best of all
    No tit to pull, no shit to haul.
    No shit to haul, no hay to pitch.
    Just poke a hole in the son of a bitch.

    Reply
  7. Richard Monroe

    My grandmother entered me in a cutest kid contest in 1950 that I believe was promoted on Burns and Allen TV show..my grandma always said I won the contest because I was raised on carnation milk and it gave me rosie cheeks.
    Anyway she said the prize was $500.
    and just trying to find out the whole story..thanks in advance for your time

    Reply
  8. Todd

    I was a mailman in Baldwin Park California years ago , and a lady on my route told me it was HER that came up with that jingle —- she got a visit from a company representative and he explained to get that her jingle was #1 with the judges of the contest, but obviously they couldn’t use it in a public forum. They?awarded her a small sum for her effort and a thank you from the judges !!!

    Reply
  9. Michael Coleman

    I first read this poem in David Ogilvy’s book Confesions of a
    advertising man. Many years later I read about its origin in
    Agnes Cleveland’s biography No life for a lady.

    Reply
  10. Az

    I just heard a variation of this poem for the first time, I did not know about the poem before this variation:

    Carnation Milk, the best in the land
    That comes to you in a red and white can.
    No tits to pinch, no chips to pitch
    Just pop two holes in the son of a bitch

    Reply
  11. GRABLE

    My name is Rich Grable and my family, Grable family has always had some jokes to tell and as a kid I can remember my dad “Fat Grable” telling this one:

    Carnation milk I think his Grand, the best there is in this land,
    No tits to pull,
    No shit to pitch,
    Just poke a hole in the son of a bitch*

    Reply

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